Hemingway has his classic moment in "The Sun Also Rises"
when someone asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt.
All he can say is, "Gradually, then suddenly."
That's how depression hits.
You wake up one morning,
afraid that you're gonna live.

Let me say that I know when I should be confessing
I'm counting everything- my change and blessings
Chemists cursed me imbalanced
I ran through the streets until my legs gave in
"Hey, even without light I could see that we were failures"
And I am coming clean of dreams that don't exist
Oh God, it's in the air when it should beSafe between our hands"
And love, even without light I could see that we would fail"
Let me say what I mean
Let me sleep on your floor
Let me learn to love
Cause I can feel my face sinking
through bruised bones, barely hiding my mind
Failure fascination - I got a count on all
I'll never haveAnd I am dying to not give up on this

when you're close you look through me just like a ghost

[im going from strange to stranger ever year]

well


all i can say is










...

nervous breakdown #2 is well on its way
and i dont think i can survive this one













thats all